I never died
by mandi-263
Summary: The Sheriff's heart may have been crushed, but not his power to love.


I never died.

My heart was crushed, my soul was shattered, but my love for Emma never died.

People say you cannot love without a heart, but they're wrong. You cannot love without passion. I have a passionate love for Emma, and a passionate hate for Regina.

I watch everyday as Emma comes closer to breaking the curse: the day she became sheriff, the day she met August, the day he took her from Storybrooke to see where she came from. I watched her the day she solved the case of missing Kathryn, and the day she appointed Ruby as her assistant.

I loved Emma; I _love_ Emma. Seeing her with August hurt, but I knew that she'd never feel for him the way she felt for me.

I watched the day she discovered that August was Pinocchio and that he was dying; watched her as she cried over his body. I cried for her, and I cried for August.

In a way, the day he came back was a great day. When Snow found him all I could think was _Great. Now Emma and August can live happily ever after!_

But they couldn't. Because August was still made of wood, and when he was reborn he was made a child. Emma couldn't love him like she loved me.

That night, as Snow and Charming were sleeping downstairs and Henry was falling asleep slowly, Emma lay awake, staring up at the ceiling.

She sighed and I sat next to her, wanting so bad to reach out and touch her, to kiss her, to hold her.

"Graham, I miss you so much!" Tears started running down her face, and I rushed to catch them. It was no use; she couldn't feel my touch.

But her breath caught in her throat and she started breathing heavily. She reached a hand to the cheek where my hand was resting and smiled and cried at the same time.

I continued to brush away her tears as she closed her eyes. When she opened them, she looked directly into my eyes.

"Graham!" she breathed. She sat up and hugged me like I had been missing forever, which I had been.

I brushed her hair away from her eyes and observed her face. How beautiful she was, with her blonde hair in perfect ringlets.

She leaned into me and hugged me close, not letting go for several moments. On the other side of the room, Henry began to awaken and he sat up, rubbing his eyes.

"Emma, are you okay?" Henry didn't see me. Emma was losing her smile and I started to draw back.

"Yeah, just a dream..." She responded. "Go back to bed."

She flicked off the covers and ran out of the room, and down the stairs. She made a little bit too much noise and Snow and Charming stirred in their sleep.

She continued, ignoring them. She ran out the door and closed it gently, then leaned against it and panted.

"You're not real. You're not here and I'm still alone," a tear ran down her face and landed on her cheek, where I kiss it.

"Of course I'm real," This time I kiss her soft, pink lips. Her breath caught again and she sank to the ground. "Henry doesn't want to see me. He forgets me."

She shook her head and starts to breathe normally again. She closes her eyes and starts to speak, so quietly I can't hear her mumbles.

"Emma, what are you saying?" I ask, wondering if she even knows she's talking.

Her mumbles grow louder and I pick out certain words. "...real...Henry...see...isn't."

I lean in closer and manage to hear to understand what she's saying. "You aren't real, Henry can't see you. This isn't happening, it isn't!"

She repeats the phrase several times before changing her mumbles. "I can't let this hurt me. I can't let myself believe you're real. Henry can't see you, and this is all a dream."

I feel tears start to run down my own face as I watch her try and convince herself I can't be real.

I pick her up and bring her through the door, then up the stairs. I lay her down on her bed, then kiss her forehead. I can't believe that I have to give her up like this, but she's right; it will only hurt her.

I back away and stand close to the stairs. "Goodbye, Emma."

Her eyelids flutter, but stay closed. "Goodbye, Graham,"

And I never see her again.


End file.
